Residency Match and an uncertain future (Adrian's view)

It has been a while since I wrote an entry, most of the ones in our blog are written by Tammy; of course, I agree with them is just that I don't always have time to write and she does a better job. However this entry is important as it has been difficult for me and I hope that it will help me overcome future challenges and I certainly hope that in the future I can look back at this and realize that "it was not as bad as it feels now".
The title of the entry gives a glimpse of what I am writing. This started in early March 2015 when I was rotating as a 4th year medical student in Las Vegas. It had been over six months since I submitted my application for residency to 50 different programs all over the US for OBGYN. I went to 8 interviews and for the most part I think I did everything possible to successfully match. The rotation in Las Vegas was difficult, mostly the time commitment; I was working 80+ hours each week. During my second week there (2 of 4) it was the week when I was supposed to receive an email on Monday (March 16) as to whether I matched somewhere or not, then on Friday (March 20) I would receive an email stating which program I matched into. I remember very clearly that Monday, I was tired, going through rounds and trying to pay attention while I was constantly looking at my phone to see if I got a new email. The time slowly came and to my great surprise, I did not match. I had two residents working with me who were wonderful, the whole time they were very optimistic and excited. Once the time came, they early asked "so did you match?". I could not even respond, my heart was broken and I could feel tears down my face. They immediately knew what it meant. I remember going to the bathroom and basically breaking into tears and crying inconsolably. I am not even sure now why I cried, most of have been the overwhelming feeling of emotions and panic. I did not what to do, my arrogance to that point had convinced me that I was never going to have to go through this, I did not plan to the "what if". I mean, most medical students successfully match and most make it to their 1 or 2 choice. Why not me?? It is a question that I still can not answer.
Well, I had to scramble which basically meant to apply to all open programs. There was no open OBGYN spots so I applied to some preliminary surgery programs, some radiology programs and even a couple family medicine programs....nothing. It was Thursday night and I had not found any place that would take me. I was desperate and totally devastated. I am not sure if I could even convey what I felt that moment. To most medical students residency match is the "ultimate goal" of years of studying, huge amounts of debt, frustrations, etc. To most medical students it means knowing where you will live for the next few years, it means some kind of stability, perhaps a first home, perhaps closer to family. I then looked up DO programs who did not fill on the DO match a month earlier and I started sending emails and applications to Traditional internship (TRI) programs. I could not see myself doing IM or family Medicine which was most of the open programs. So I applied to TRI spots since TRI is a year long where you rotate to different fields and basically you have to reapply for residency the next year. It was not the best option but it was all I had. Perhaps I should have applied to IM or Family med, I don't know.
I probably sent emails and applications to 10 or so programs. I received phone interviews for 4 programs and basically offers for 3. I had to decide very quick and the programs too had to pick someone really quick. So there was not time to think about options, or compare programs, etc. I was offered one position in Port St. Lucie Florida and two in Brooklyn NY area. I quickly google cost of living in those areas and it was obvious that I had to pick florida (the cost of living in NY would have been impossible for a family of 4). So there I was taking  position for TRI in Florida. Even right now (june 9) can not believe this happened to me and that now I am in Florida.
I have no idea what I am going to do now, applied to OBGYN again, another program?? I am not sure and to make it worse I have to start the application cycle again in July.
I met a physician in Cedar (Dr. Rand Colbert, dermatologist) while I rotated in his clinic. He happened to be in my ward in Cedar and during the last few months he was our home teacher. He has been very optimistic and supportive as he can during this time in my life. When I told him that I did not match, to my surprise, he was happy that I did not. He said that he felt OBGYN would not have been a good field for me and that now that I have an extra year I can apply to other fields that may be better. I was thankful for this advise and optimism but it is hard to believe I could do other "more attractive fields" when I have been a barely average student (on paper) to this point. I don't have the awesome test scores, I was not top of my class, I don't have some cool research paper...I supposed if I did, maybe I would have matched into OBGYN.